I was just kidding about that last part, the clubs are open again! If you’ve mustered up enough courage to tell your significant other you’re ready to reschedule your canceled bachelor party, Medellin is now back. 

A few days ago we published our ultimate pool party guide. We found that a guide was needed for upcoming travelers to put together their own private pool parties in Medellin. This week, we figured we’d put together a similar guide. Only this time, for the upcoming traveler that needs to know the ins and outs of Medellin strip clubs. Especially after the pandemic. 

What are Medellin Strip Clubs like?

Before we begin, I’d like to warn you that this isn’t going to be a guide that covers every strip club in the city. I’m only going to highlight the ones that are within safe areas of the city. Don’t expect $5 lap dances. My idea isn’t to cover every club but instead, the clubs that will keep you safe and far from the seedy areas of the city. 

Medellin strip clubs are not at all like American strip clubs. These places use the term ‘strip club’ as a cover-up as they’re really brothels with a stage and multiple poles. In fact, they just added lap dance areas about a year or two ago. Upon the request of unsuspecting tourists that questioned their all-or-nothing policy. 

Traditional American strip clubs (see James Harden) will contain dozens of girls dancing on a stage and guys throwing dollars on said stage. There are a few back rooms where you can request lap dances which usually induce blue balls. You continue to tip these teasers until you’ve run out of money. Throw that out the window, RIGHT NOW. 

Strip clubs in Colombia are a different breed. Here, pretty much every girl will either dance on the stage. Instead of throwing dollars at them, after two dances, girls will walk around each table asking for a tip (more on this later). 

These girls are also available for a lap dance and there are hotel rooms located on the premises if you wish to go all the way. 

Strip Clubs vs Massage Parlors in Medellin

There’s a lot of confusion because there are talks of a Pablo Escobar mansion with strippers. Though such a thing does exist, this is only partially true. Known as Loutron, it is a massage parlor, or as I like to call it, an early bird special.

Massage parlors in Medellin offer a similar setup but these are open from 12 pm – 8:30 pm. The best way to describe these establishments is by remembering the scene in Rush Hour 2. Where Jackie Chan takes Chris Tucker to a day spa and the madame opens up a curtain revealing dozens of beautiful women. Here in Medellin is basically the same but with Latin Women who are presented one by one rather than all at once. FYI, the madame is off-limits. 

Strip clubs in Medellin are establishments with little lighting, more glitter, and an instant breakup if you don’t wash your clothes after. 

The top two massage parlors in Medellin are – 

• Loutron Medellin – It is an old mansion that used to be owned by Pablo Escobar that is located high up in the mountains with a view like no other. There is an entrance fee of $20,000 COP, which is deducted once you have a drink at the bar or get a massage – this fee is intended to prevent locals from just wandering in looking for their girlfriends. Beers are about $7 USD and a full-service massage is about $85 (I mean FULL SERVICE). Don’t visit for the actual massage. 
• Energy Spa –  Similar set up as Loutron but this place is near Medellin’s main soccer stadium which makes it about a 20-minute drive from El Poblado and Parque Lleras. The mansion isn’t as breathtaking as Loutron but with a $50 price tag for an all-inclusive massage, it’s well worth checking out. 

Massage parlors aren’t open on Sundays so be sure to visit during the day from Monday – to Saturday. 

What are the Best Medellin Strip Clubs?

Ok, back to strip clubs in Medellin. Our favorite clubs are La Isla (aka The Girls Club Medellin) and Fase Dos. 

Both of these places are top Medellin Strip Clubs and they both feature between 60-100 girls on any given night. The reason why these two places made the cut is because of their location, talent, and lack of sketchiness. 

We get a lot of brothel hunting whoremongers looking for the seedy underbelly of Medellin where they can find “the best price”.

I say this because back when I was head of the concierge department for a few VIP agencies, we took a lot of guys on these tours so we know a thing or two about Medellin’s rough areas. 

This time we want to stay clear of all of that and only bring you the best of the best. 

Fase dos Medellin

Fase dos is located in El Poblado, right behind Premium Plaza shopping mall. Its huge sign right outside, 300-pound bouncers and jungle-like facade make it a can’t miss. 

The reason we chose this place as one of our top Medellin strip clubs is because of the atmosphere, quality of women, and overall good time.  I was born in the late 80s so I didn’t get to enjoy 80s nightlife in Miami but I’m pretty sure this is the look they were going for.

The entrance fee is $10,000 COP ($3 USD). Upon entering you’ll see a huge stage with two stripper poles right in the middle. Depending on how close you’d like to be to the splash zone, there is seating right in front of the stage or booths surrounding the stage. 

Going all the way will cost you about $200,000 or $65 USD. Which is a steal when you see the talent at this place. The alcohol is quite expensive, but that is expected at a strip club. You also shouldn’t expect to find too much variety either. 

There is a hotel directly adjacent to the club and included in the $65 tag is the price of the hotel room for 45 minutes. 

La Isla Medellin 

It is often said that La Isla is the best strip club in Medellin. It is in large part due to its vast stage, spacious setting, and a wide variety of both booze and floozies. 

Like Fase, La Isla is also located in El Poblado, but La Isla is in the Las Palmas sector of Medellin. 

There is a $10,000 entrance fee here as well and this time a $300,000 ($90) all-the-way fee for coitus. 

I’ve been to La Isla with NBA players, NFL players, and a handful of socialites and they all rave that La Isla is the best strip club they’ve ever been to. 

La Isla also has a hotel adjacent to the club, and the room as well as rubbers, are included with every purchase. 

What to Expect?

I thought you’d never ask. Both of these clubs will have about 8-10 girls dancing on the stage per hour and if you recall the earlier part of this guide, tossing dollars on the stage is not the way to go. 

Upon entering both of these places whether you’ll be participating in anything or not, it’s recommended that you bring cash. Regardless of going with a guide or not, we recommend you give the waiter or dude at the bar $50,000 COP and he will give you back 25 $2,000 peso bills. Each girl that finishes their dance on the stage will make their way around the club asking each person tips them. Give them one of these bills. 

You can choose not to tip them but $2,000 is like 60 cents so don’t worry about breaking the bank. Just make sure you stock up on local currency because their exchange rate is insulting and there is no ATM for miles. 

We also suggest you steer clear of using your card unless you absolutely have to. For starters, we don’t know how your significant other will take the news of a credit card statement. Highlighting a few hundred dollars spent at a strip club in Medellin and they also charge a 10% surcharge for payments made via credit cards. 

What is Offered at Medellin Strip Clubs?

Fase dos is probably a little sketchier between the two, but it is closer to the Parque Lleras neighborhood and inexpensive due to the exchange rate. 

La Isla is a little further, and a bit more expensive, but you’ll likely find slightly better talent. We recommend visiting both during your 4-day weekend. Just make sure you stock up on local currency. 

As far as alcohol, La Isla has a wider variety including more tequilas, whiskies, and Vodkas. Fase dos is really a one-trick pony when it comes to their booze. If you don’t care much about hangovers or sipping single malt scotch. I’m sure you’ll sacrifice those to save a little money. 

The hotel at La Isla is nicer than the one at Fase Dos and so is the music. Don’t be that annoying guy trying to get on the stage because you’ll be escorted right out. I’d like to make sure you understand, no video or photography. You’ve been warned, my friends. 

Both clubs’ setup is really quite simple. You just pay the entrance fee. Get in, get seated, exchange the money for smaller bills, order your drink, and start tipping the girls. If you want to go all the way, negotiate a price with whomever you like and follow them into the next room. Keep an eye on your drinks and keep your valuables in your hotel room. 

Lap dances are common. With the difference between a lap dance and going all the way being about $25 USD, it’s really a no-brainer. 

For those who prefer bringing the girls back to your hotel or Airbnb, this option is also available. There is a $200,000 COP exit fee for both places per girl. On top of that, you’d have to pay the girl what she charges. The girl picks this fee (depending on quality or how much she feels she can get away with) but is anywhere between $600,000 – $900,000 COP per night. It can get pricey. We recommend either keeping it in-house or getting their numbers and negotiating an after-hours party back at your place. You’ll thank me later. 

La Isla vs. Fase Dos

We’ve included this section here because I know a lot of you gentlemen are asking this very question. Which is the best strip club in Medellin?

The question is too hard to answer as both appeal to different crowds with different budgets. Fase dos is slightly sketchier looking and more affordable but La Isla has better alcohol and slightly better-looking girls. 

I personally prefer La Isla because the club is bigger and the music is a lot better. They try to incorporate old-school hip hop into their mixes which appeals to the American market. 

We suggest you check out both mainly because who knows, you might not look for quality but attitude. You can have a swarm of 10s lined up. If they’re not fun, you’re better off settling for a few 7s. 

Prices at Strip Clubs in Medellin 

We’ve already gone overpricing. We want to let you know how much you should expect to pay at one of these Medellin Strip Clubs. 

The entrance fee at both is $3USD per person. Expect to pay about $80-$150 per bottle, and expect to convert about $30 USD into 50 $2000 COP bills.

Staying Safe 

Besides avoiding being belligerent and drawing unnecessary attention to yourselves, there really isn’t much we can tell you. Keep your valuables in your hotel room and either UBER over there or have your guide drive you to and from. 

Hailing taxis off the street isn’t always the safest way to go, hence the clubs have their own transportation services.